The Serendipity of Standing Still
by maramouse
Summary: In a world with no Rory, Lorelai Gilmore and Luke Danes spend a chaste, intense night together. But what happens when the night is over, and the two are forced to return to their respective lives again?
1. Meetings

_Author's Note: Who embarks on another WIP, when she currently has writer's block for her other two ("Where There's A Will" and "Her Father's Second Wife") and is currently working on an original novel AND is uber busy with theatre and schoolwork? Yours truly! The good news is that despite my writer's block for my other stories (which I am really trying hard to overcome!), I have a clear idea of where this one is going, so updates should be pretty regular. Not sure how make chapters this baby will be yet, but I'm thinking about five or six._

_Inspiration for this comes from a line in a future chapter in "Where There's a Will," which I have yet to sit down to write: Lorelai asks Christopher if he thinks they would have still had the constant push/pull of their relationship that followed them for over 22 years if Rory had not existed. Being the super JJ fan that I am, this made me wonder if Luke and Lorelai still would have met had Lorelai never moved to Stars Hollow. Writing a story where Rory did not exist was difficult, and I could not bear the fact of Luke having a daughter (even an unknown one) when Lorelai didn't, so I found another way around that that added to Luke's angst at the time._

_While I've tried to write this so that only Luke's and Lorelai's lives changed, and that the changes in other people's lives were only as a direct effect of the changes in LL's lives (ie, Emily not being as ashamed of her daughter, since there was no Rory), I'm not sure it completely worked out that way. So if you see something that doesn't quite add up in the GG world in this time or any characters that are acting extremely different, just chuck it up to AU and move on. :)_

_Title comes from the fact that I like how I got both a message about fate and a famous LL quote in there. It also refers to the fact that although Lorelai "stood still" by not moving to Stars Hollow as she does in GG, she and Luke still managed to find each other._

_And now let's end this super long Author's Note and get on with the show!_

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><p><em>December 12<em>_th__, 1992_

"Sometimes, perhaps, we are allowed to get lost that we may find the right person to ask directions of." -Robert Brault

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><p>The worst part of the day was not the nerves that gripped when he woke up. Instead, it was the cold emptiness that filled him after the bells on his door clanged for the last time, signifying that the last customer had left.<p>

Most people flinched whenever their alarm clock went off, but not Luke Danes. As nerve-wracking as it was to run a diner that he had only opened ten months before, he was able to distract himself by the constant motion put into owning a new business. There at the diner, he was able to hide behind the grimace that had become plastered to his face after his father died; there at the diner, he could pretend that he enjoyed being alone.

During the night, however, he had no means to escape. Without anyone to grunt to, he had no place to hide. Instead, he could only lie there, staring up at the ceiling of his dad's old office, counting ceiling cracks and praying for sleep.

Damn Anna. Damn Rachel.

Sponging the counter, he wondered what it would have been like if things were different: if Anna Nardini had come by the diner a month before to announce that the baby was his. Though Luke had come from a more traditional family, he was in no ways naïve. He and Anna weren't meant for each other, and though he had no doubt he would have tried to do the right thing, both of them would have been destined for lives as single parents.

Still, if that baby had been his, at least he would have had something. Some reminder that his life was not worthless and that he actually had someone to live for besides his needy sister and her son, who was already shaping up to be trouble at the grand age of eight-years-old. True, Luke did not always like kids-he flinched, remembering Anna's words-but this would have been _his _kid. It would have been different.

But there was no baby Danes now; in a manner of speaking, there was no baby Nardini, either. Instead, she would marry that other putz, and the baby would never know how his or her mother had cheated on him. He would probably not even be aware that there was any man in the world besides his father. _And every day of her life, Anna will probably thank God that that kid belonged to _him_ and not to a schmuck like me._

He closed his eyes, willing his thoughts to leave him for the time being. Then, he clenched the sponge and squeezed it with every ounce of strength he had.

* * *

><p>Driving through the snow, Lorelai Gilmore found herself remembering another time it had snowed in the past. Back then, she had only been fifteen and had just finished her winter midterms. The drinks, the kissing, the hard floor of the balcony-all of that was a blur. Instead, she distinctly remembered coming inside with Christopher and watching the snow begin to fall.<p>

"Look, Lor," he had softly, pointing to the flakes following onto her balcony. "You remember how you always say that good things happen when it snows? Well, it's snowing now. For us."

"I see that," she said, looking out the window. Christopher kissed her then, but it was not the kind of kiss she had always imagined getting from her lover. Instead, his tongue traveled into her mouth before she even had a chance to respond. It felt like the kiss of someone determined to get into her pants again, not the soft, passionate kiss of someone who loved her.

"God, it's a good thing we beat the snow," he said, stretching.

Huddled under her covers that night, Lorelai had felt herself aching everywhere. Yes, the actual sex had been painful, as she had heard that first times often were, but she also felt another pain that clenched her diaphragm and singed her heart. It wasn't supposed to be like this. She had wanted to rebel and had been fueled by her hormones, yes, _but_ _she hadn't meant to take it this far._

All of her life, she had thought that snow was a good thing, a gift just for her. Now, she wondered. Though she knew Christopher had intended his statement about it being "their" snow as romantic, she hadn't interrupted it as such. Instead, with that statement, he had transformed into any other member of the male sex: not her best friend anymore, but a teenage boy, certain that if he could convince his girlfriend that it had been snowing for them, then the sex wouldn't be a one time act.

It had been at that moment that Lorelai Gilmore had known that she and Christopher Hayden could never be best friends again.

Now, as she struggled to drive through the silhouettes of white, tears threatened to blur her vision. She didn't know why she was so upset. She had decided many years ago that though she still enjoyed catching up with Chris from time-to-time, they could never return to the way they had been. For all of his talk about running away to Paris, he was all talk and no action; deep inside of him was a little boy, determined to please his father.

It was not really a surprise that he was now engaged to Celia Balman and would be living the same life he had threatened to run away from. Christopher was many things, but "strong" was not one of them.

She needed someone strong. She needed someone who was made of fire and steel, a determined, yet sympathetic man, who would always be there for her no matter what. Not one of those snobby men her parents kept pushing for her, but a man she found on her own. A man who was different from her, maybe, but who was also fundamentally similar to herself.

For the first time in a long while, Lorelai found herself thinking about the baby that had never been…the tiny embryo that had become a clump of tissues and blood, after only two months inside of her. For those two short days that she had been aware of her pregnancy, she had thought that maybe, just maybe, this was a blessing in disguise. That although she would have to give up Vassar and her childhood, perhaps her trek for the baby's freedom would grant Lorelai her own.

Of course, she had spoken too soon. She was now twenty-four and no closer to being independent than she had been at fifteen. Yes, she was a college graduate who lived on her own, but she was still in her family's clutches. She worked in Hartford because her father's friend had a friend who owned a well-respected hotel, and instead of finding her own job like any other college graduate would have done, she had been forced to use her father's connections. Although she had dated a few men after Christopher, she was always forced to smile at the eligible bachelors her mother arranged for her to meet.

She was so engrossed in her own thoughts that it took her a few moments to notice the yellow, coffee-shaped sign, in the midst of the fairytale town.

* * *

><p>When the door had first opened to reveal the brunette beauty with eyes of agate and a coat streaked with ice and snowflakes, he had thought that he was dreaming. He had fallen asleep on the counter, and in his sleep-deprived state, he had conjured up a vision of an exotic angel.<p>

It was only when he noticed her tear stained eyelashes, however, that the realization he was wide awake seeped in. Hastily, he adapted his gruff tone and informed the woman that they were closed.

But instead of responding or turning in the other direction, as Luke had half hoped, the mysterious woman drew closer. At that moment, Luke realized that the reason he had been so drawn to her was because the dark circles under her eyes mirrored his own.

"Please, just give me a cup of coffee," she said, her violet-blue eyes pleading. "I've had a really, really crappy night, and I promise I won't bother you. I just need a cup of coffee. Please."

So Luke did what any other man would do upon being confronted with the most gorgeous woman they had ever seen. He suppressed a sigh, took out a cup, and poured her the remaining coffee.

Now he stood behind the counter, a strange fluttering in his chest. The woman moaned the instant the brown liquid touched her lips, her eyes closing in appreciation. "Oh. My. God. Does Seattle know about you, because seriously, this a thousand times better than anything Starbucks could conjure up."

"I thought you weren't going to bother me," Luke said, before he could stop himself. Realizing that this was the first time he had spoken since she'd sat down, the woman looked at him.

"I wasn't," she said in a careful tone. "Your coffee was just so good I couldn't resist." She studied him closer. "Are you Luke? I managed to make out the sign in the dark, but I expected someone older. And if you're not Luke, I'm curious what Luke is doing which requires you to close the diner." She waggled her eyebrows, and he blushed.

"I'm Luke," he said after a moment. She was still staring at him, and he found himself abandoning his normal use of the monosyllable and elaborating further. "I, uh, just opened this diner about a few months ago, so it's not very old."

"Ah, a new establishment. My dream is to open a hotel, so I imagine I'll be in your position someday." She took another sip of her drink, and he forced himself not to focus on the low-cut nature of her red dress. "You from here originally?"

"Uh, yeah." _You don't even know her, Danes. Get a grip._

She nodded. "I'm not, but it looks like a small enough town that you probably know that. Well, I don't even know if small towns are really like that, what with everyone knowing everyone and all. All I have to base that theory on is Mayberry, and let's face it, fictional North Carolina towns which have tiny prisons and sheriffs are probably not that realistic." She grinned, a gesture Luke did not return. "Anyway, I'm Lorelai, Lorelai Gilmore. Seeing as I'm crashing the closing of your establishment, it only seems fitting to introduce myself."

"Luke Danes," he muttered, looking at the counter. She frowned at him.

"You're upset. I mean, I've also gathered that you're monosyllabic and quiet, but beyond that, you seem to be upset about something.

"You don't have to tell me about it," she added, when he did not respond. "As I already mentioned, I haven't had the greatest night, either. You're welcome to sit with me in silence, sharing my misery."

"Where are you from?" he said suddenly. He had expected some surprise from her at the quick change of topic, but instead, she did not even blink.

"Hartford. I mean, I live in Middletown now, but Hartford is where I was born and spend most of my time."

"Oh." So that explained the fancy red dress she was wearing; she was probably one of those Hartford socialite types. "Are you visiting Stars Hollow for the weekend or something?"

She shook her head. "I just had a really crappy night at my parents' Christmas party-don't look at me like that, they always celebrate early. My mother kept bothering me about if I had played the cards right, I could have been the one engage to Christopher, my ex-boyfriend, since he's engaged to someone else now. I got sick of it and started driving, and before I knew it, I'd found myself here. Stars Hollow." She frowned thoughtfully. "That's a beautiful name for a town. It sounds like something right out of a fairytale-a hollow owned by the stars."

Luke was only half listening to the woman's recount of how she had found herself at his diner. His mind had stopped at her implication that she wasn't staying in Stars Hollow. Looking out the snowy window confirmed the worst. "You're going to drive back into that crazy weather?"

This time, she looked taken aback. "Well, yes, but I'm a pretty good driver. I mean, I'm not going to win awards or anything, but I think I can get myself back home."

Even Luke was surprised by the vigor in his next statement. "You're staying here. There's ice on the ground, and the snow's supposed to start falling till the morning. I don't know what they teach in that rich Hartford life of yours, but I'm not going to let you kill yourself on my account. Especially when you probably already drank at this premature Christmas event your parents were hosting." His tone lowered a few degrees in pitch. "I don't care how well they show it, but your parents wouldn't be happy to lose you. I won't have your death on my conscious."

His last comment made the woman sit up straighter. She looked at him, silently daring him to take back his words, but he stared back at her just as fiercely. "And where do you propose I go?" she said, her cheeks flushing. "There's not any hotel in town that would take me at ten-thirty at night, is there?"

Instinctively, he glanced up at the apartment of his diner. The woman was still eyeing him, with as much vigor as before. "I don't know," he admitted, sighing. "Mia-she owns the Independence Inn-would probably be sympathetic, but even driving that short a distance would be risky, and it's not like you should walk in the snow." Her dress definitely wasn't appropriate for the weather. "I don't know if Mia works this late, anyway."

"Then what are you implying?" she asked, crossing her arms. When Luke said nothing, her eyes widened.

"You-you-"

"I nothing!" Luke snapped. The woman continued to scrutinize him, her eyes narrowed. "Look, lady, I know you've been taught in your rich Hartford circle that any blue collar worker is out to take advantage of anyone who just happened to be born with more money, but that's not true. Hell, it's not like I just work here; I _own _this diner, for God's sake. If you'd spent a day in Stars Hollow before, you'd know that this is the least likely place to find rapists or conmen. Most of the people here leave their doors unlocked, it's so safe. Idiots if you ask me, but that's how they do things." He sighed, calming down a little. "Look, you can risk getting out on the road if you really want to, but if you have any sense at all, you'll spend the night here. Upstairs I have an apartment where I sleep, so if you like, I can just stay down here, while you get your rest or whatever. You're even welcome to lock the door, and I'll give you the key, so you don't have to worry about me breaking in. The lesser of two evils is really up to you."

She sat there, staring at him for a long time. He found himself squirming under the intensity of her gaze. Even his father had not looked at him like this.

When at last she spoke, she did not meet his eyes. "Which game do you want to play: 'Ten Fingers' or 'Truth or Dare'?"

Within the next five minutes in the diner, Luke Danes quickly became aware of an important fact, which would serve him for the rest of his life: when Lorelai Gilmore got an idea in her head, it was almost impossible to stop her.

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><p><em>I can promise you that an update is coming in the very near future. :)<em>


	2. Truths

_A/N: Thank you for the lovely reviews! I hope you enjoy this installment!_

_Also: a slight change from the first chapter. Lorelai's dream is actually to open her own hotel, not her own inn, since she doesn't really have experiences with inns yet and has stayed in high class hotels most of her life. Forgive me, but in my mind, she still works at an inn, and I had to change "inn" from "hotel" several times in my writing. Guess I missed one.  
><em>

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><p>Lorelai's roommate her sophomore year of Vassar had been a girl named Amantha Beckham. Blonde and curvaceous, Amantha loved to fill Lorelai in about her many sexual escapades. One such story was the time she had made love with the gardener in her family's green house. In another, she had had an affair with a married man during a trip to Paris.<p>

Though she had not spoke to her in two-and-a-half years, Lorelai found herself thinking of Amantha now. She could imagine what Amantha would say if she was aware of Lorelai's current situation: "Fate obviously gave you this opportunity, so you should take advantage of it! There are certainly worse things than being trapped with a sexy diner owner, you know."

He certainly was attractive, Lorelai could not help admitting. Though not clean-shaven like most guys she went for, Luke's stubble gave him an almost sexy, roguish quality. His clear blue eyes were more striking than any eyes she had seen in a long time, and the stubble did not cover up his nicely sculpted cheekbones. She had also noticed that ass. She wondered if underneath that flannel, Luke was also more gifted than his clothing let on.

But she was not Amantha; she was Lorelai. Though not a prude by any means, Lorelai was not about to have any sexual escapades with a man she had just met, especially a man who had come short of calling her a spoiled brat and who was far too grumpy for his age. Still, Lorelai was not above making Luke uncomfortable. He stared at her after she mentioned the two games, but after she explained the need for sleepover games at a sleepover and threatened to leave if he did not play, he relented.

"Fine," he grumbled. "We're just playing a few rounds, though, and then you're going to sleep. I still need to finish cleaning up, so you can play while we talk. And I put my foot down at playing Ten Fingers-either that or any inappropriate Truths or Dares."

"You know what Ten Figures is?" she said, giggling.

He glared at her, and she fell silent.

Luke took a while to get the hang of the game. Christopher and the other boys she had played with during her high school years had been enthusiastic to discover their friends' secrets, but Luke's first question was how old she was. After promptly informing him that this did not count, he sighed and asked her about the guy her mother wanted her to marry.

That was easy. "His name is Christopher, and we started dating when we were fifteen. Our parents are close friends, though, so he's been in my life for as long as I can remember. We're not as close as we used to be, but back then, he was my best friend-my best guy friend, at least."

"Fifteen?" Luke sputtered. Clearly, he'd been expecting her to be older.

Lorelai shrugged. "He's the right class and a close friend of ours. To be my parents, that's more important than being happy."

He was still gaping at her, and she found herself feeling a little bad for him. People outside of Hartford society had no idea what being on the inside was really like. "Well," he said finally, "are you dating anyone now?"

It was another question, but she did not correct him. Though ordinarily her antenna would have risen at an attractive man asking if she was single, she had the feeling Luke was merely curious. "No. I've gone on a few dates, but I've been so busy with my job, I haven't had time. I'm one of the assistant managers at a hotel that a friend of my dad's friend owns. I mean, I wanted to find my own job after college, but my dad pretty much forced me to take the job, because of his connections." Seeing the way Luke's gaze fell after she mentioned college, she immediately felt stupid. Not everyone had had the fortune to gain higher education, after all. "I didn't mean it like that; I'm pretty lucky I was able to get this job so easily. I just sometimes wish I could do things for myself, you know?" When he did not respond, she sighed. It was not easy talking to such a private man. "Truth or dare?"

He was still looking away. "Truth."

She glanced around the place. "Well, what made you decide to open a diner? I've always loved diners, but what about you?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I like food, I guess."

She raised her eyebrows. "That's it-you like food? Well, I like food too, but that doesn't mean I want to open a diner. And why a diner? Don't get me wrong, coffee and greasy food definitely have their appeal, but why not, say, a Mexican restaurant or something?"

"I hate greasy foods; I'm just good at making it. And in case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly of the ethnicity that normally earns their living making Mexican food."

She chuckled. "True. But again, why a diner? Does your mom make special hamburgers and pancakes or something?"

A shadow fell over his face. Prior to the question, he had been cleaning out the coffee pitcher, but now, he froze, mid-wipe. "My-my mother died when I was ten-years-old. And the reason I have a diner or at least this building..." He swallowed visibly. "Well, my dad died a few years ago, and he left me his hardware shop, so here it is."

Lorelai was tempted to hit her head. The signs were all there; of course he had a reason for being reluctant to answer her questions. "Oh, Luke, I'm so, so sorry. Do you want to, uh, move onto less sensitive topics?"

His back was now turned towards her. "Nah. It was an innocent question-there's no way you could have known. I wouldn't mind stop playing now, though; aren't you ready to hit the sack for the night?"

She felt herself grinning. "Not just yet, bucko. I believe it's my turn. I pick truth again."

* * *

><p>After he finished cleaning up, Luke took Lorelai up to his apartment. He was still in the process of transforming his father's office into an apartment, and the place was cluttered with unopened boxes. While the size of his apartment did not bother him, he was not sure how it would look through a rich socialite's eyes.<p>

Sure enough, the moment he opened the door, Lorelai looked around the apartment with an impish grin. "Quite the bachelor pad, huh?"

Luke stiffened. "Not everyone can afford to live in a luxury mansion."

She straightened. "Oh, no! That's not what I meant at all. As a matter of fact, I live a pretty basic apartment with one of my friends, too; I got my parents to back down from paying for it, thank God. Speaking of which, I should probably call her-I don't want her worrying about me. But what I meant was…your bed." She pointed to the single bed in the corner of the room. "Do you know that they say you shouldn't date a man with a single bed, because if he can't make room for you in his bed, then he can't make room for you in his life?"

Though his previous hour with her alerted Luke to the fact that she was just teasing, his jaw clenched, remembering something Anna had said. "If you don't want to stay in it, I can set up a mattress for you to sleep on or something."

"Luke…" Her blue eyes darkened in color, causing Luke's stomach to swoop yet again. "I was just teasing. There's nothing wrong with your bed; it's not like I own a queen size, either. In fact, it's the perfect size for one person to sleep in."

Instead of responding, Luke went over to his drawer and pulled out a pair of sweatpants and an old teeshirt. "Here. I hope you're okay with these. I know it's not much, but it's better than sleeping in that dress you've got on." Her red dress was still making him uncomfortable, so glamorous and out of his league.

She grinned. "Why, thank you, kind sir. That's exactly what I needed."

An hour later, they sat on the floor, continuing their game of Truth or Dare. Luke had wanted to leave the second Lorelai emerged from the bathroom, clad in her sleeping ware, but Lorelai had begged him to stay. But it wasn't a spoiled, "I'm used to having nannies and maids do what I tell them to" kind of begging, as he would have suspected. Instead, it was a kind of pouty begging similar to what his sister did, but with a touch of flirtation involved.

Truth be told, Luke was feeling more comfortable by the minute. While it was true the bottle and a half of beer had helped-he was still disgusted by the fact that Lorelai had insisted on drinking her beer with the plate of pie she had forced him to retrieve for her-he was beginning to realize that he had misjudged Lorelai Gilmore. Yes, she was still too attractive for his own good and way out of his league (not to mention, he didn't need yet another girl breaking his heart), but she did not seem to look down at him. Most of her frustration at him came from his difficulty sharing personal information about himself ("The whole point of this game!") than anything else.

If Luke hadn't known better, he would have gone back to wondering if Lorelai really was a figment of his imagination, because the crazy, annoying woman was definitely distracting him from his angst.

She took a sip of beer, her eyes wide. He had been forced to tell her the history of Liz after she had asked about siblings. "So let me get this straight. After your mom died, Liz became a crazy, druggie teenager, and she got pregnant at the end of high school. Then she had your nephew, Jess, whose dad ditched him while he was supposed to be buying diapers. And ever since then, she's married or had flings with a bunch of loser guys, all in the presence of her eight-year-old son. And she only calls you whenever she needs money."

He thought he saw her flinch when she mentioned Liz's teenage pregnancy, but he could not be sure. "Yeah, pretty much."

"God." Lorelai took another swig of beer. "That is _so _screwed up."

He could not help laughing at the blunt way she had put up. She grinned at him. "You're _laughing_."

"Yeah, well-" He was urged by the beer to say the next comment. "You're actually kinda funny."

"Yeah, I'm a regular Imogene Coca," Lorelai said matter-of-factly. When he shook his head, she frowned. "I just wish my mom could appreciate it."

He watched as Lorelai's forehead creased. Though he knew nothing about what it was like to have a relationship with one's mother as an adult, he had gotten the sense that Lorelai's issues with her mother went beyond the usual annoyances. "What does she do?" he said softly.

It was his question, as they hadn't bothered to use any dares. She shrugged. "Oh, nothing much. She's just really not amused by my sense of humor. For her, it's all about making appearances, and she doesn't like how I don't fit into her world-or, for that matter, don't want to. You know…" She spoke softly. "I always wanted a sibling, someone who could maybe take some of the weight off of me sort to speak, but after hearing your story about your sister, I'm not so sure."

To both of their surprises, he placed his hand over hers. It was slightly smaller than his own and more delicate than he'd expected from someone her height. When he looked at Lorelai, he saw that her cheeks were pink. She took a few moments before speaking, but did not remove her hand. "Umm…" She giggled a little. Did she actually seem _pleased _by his gesture? No. Not a girl like Lorelai. That was ridiculous.

"So…" She forced a smile, still blushing. "I guess it's your turn?"

Luke sighed and drew away his hand.

* * *

><p>Two hours and two more beers later, Luke and Lorelai had reached a new height in their game. Both were now at ease with each other, an amazing feat considering that they had only known each other for a matter of hours. Luke still had a hard time of answering some of her questions, but responded with more detail than he had before.<p>

In her foggy, beer infected mind, Lorelai found herself focusing on Luke's physique again. Just what lie underneath that flannel and how that scruff would feel underneath her fingertips. Though she had meant her question about boxers or brief as a joke, she found herself feeling disappointed when Luke refused to answer.

She had butterflies in her chest when she asked Luke if he had a girlfriend.

She knew it was the wrong question immediately. Luke's eyes darkened, and his face closed down, so that it matched the same expression he had been wearing when she first entered the diner. "Not anymore," he said quietly.

As she took in Luke's expression, a bell went off in Lorelai's mind. Ignoring the rules of not asking more than one "truth" at a time, Lorelai said softly, "Is that what you were so upset about earlier? Your ex-girlfriend?"

He just grunted.

"Everyone has bad breakups," Lorelai said, trying her best to sound comforting. "My boyfriend my sophomore year of college cheated on me, and it really shook me up at the time. It's like, uh, Harry and Sally." It was the first movie couple she could think of. "Sometimes, it takes a little longer to find the one."

Luke's tone came out harsh. "Yeah, well, did that boyfriend of yours who cheated on you get another girl pregnant?"

Lorelai gasped at the implication. "Why…did your girlfriend…?"

He took another a sip of beer, before nodding.

"God, Luke. I'm so sorry. That's terrible."

He shrugged. "Yeah, well. At least it's not my problem to deal with."

"But it hurt you, didn't it?" said Lorelai, studying Luke's face. His eyes revealed his pain, though his face did not. "I mean, that's awful. Someone you were dating announcing that she was pregnant…with the baby of someone else."

"Not so horrible for her," Luke muttered, looking down. "As she said, it's a good thing it's not mine. It's better for the baby that way."

Lorelai blinked. "She actually said that?"

"Yeah. Something about me being a toxic bachelor"-he motioned around his apartment-"and being unable to commit or something." He snorted. "Like I was the one who was cheating on her. Those times I wanted to move whenever we were sitting next to a table of kids probably didn't help."

"But it would have been different with your own kid," Lorelai said with conviction.

Luke looked surprised. "Yeah. I guess so."

"Well, maybe it's better that way," Lorelai said, repeating something she had often told herself to lessen the pain of her own miscarriage. "I'm sure your girlfriend had some good qualities, but it's not like you would want to have a kid with someone who cheated on you. And raising a kid by yourself, even with partial custody or whatever…that would be hard. I-I don't know if I would ever have the strength to do that."

She swallowed hard. Her brief pregnancy was not something she often thought about. She still questioned whether she could have managed to be a single mother, but it hurt to think that she might have lost the most important thing in her life. Yes, she had been sixteen. But when she saw a mother and daughter walking about with their arms around each other's shoulders, there were times her heart clenched. It was easier not to think about it.

Still, she was thinking about it now. Something about the beer and seeing Christopher engaged, no doubt a few years away from becoming a father himself, had put her pregnancy at the top of her mind. And Luke's ex-girlfriend. Why had Luke's sister been allowed to keep her baby, when she was a druggie and alcoholic and clearly not a good mother? And why had Luke's ex-girlfriend gotten pregnant, when doing so had hurt someone so kind and special-Luke-in the process?

Most importantly of all, why did Lorelai still remember the pain of her miscarriage so clearly, even after all these years?

Her eyes filled up with tears. Luke looked up, startled, as she began to cry. She wiped her eyes on her arm, but the tears kept flowing. With a hesitant reach, Luke placed a hand on her arm.

She looked at him, his image blurry through her tears. "Go on. Ask me. It's your turn next; I know you want to."

His tone was surprisingly gentle. While it still had the typical gruff quality, it was also more sympathetic than she'd heard before. "Ask you what?"

"Why…why I'm crying, when it's you who confessed something. It's your turn. You should ask me."

He shifted uncomfortably. "You don't tell have to tell me."

"But I want to." Her confession startled her. "That's the funny thing…I _want _to…even though I've never told anyone that before." She reconsidered its. "Maybe that's why I want to. I'm never going to be able to let this go if I don't tell anybody, and better a man who might never see me again than my mother, who would go into cardiac arrest upon hearing."

He hesitated. "Well, uh, if you're sure, I guess."

She started crying again. After another short hesitation, Luke wrapped his arm around her shoulder. She found herself sobbing into his chest. Despite Luke's awkwardness, Lorelai was at ease. She had never been in the arms of such a strong man before.

Pushing this thought aside, she shut her eyes tight. When she opened them, she was dismayed to find that she had not been teleported onto another planet. Her heart ramming, she cleared her throat.

"When I was sixteen, I-I got pregnant…with Christopher's, the boy I was telling you about earlier, child." She looked up at Luke, but if he was judging her situation, he did a good job hiding it. "I was terrified, of course, scared out of my mind, but in those few days, I thought, I don't know…maybe I was meant to do this. To bring a child into the world and to give her-or him, but I always thought it would be a girl-a happier life than my parents had given me. And then, no less than two days after I found out for sure…I had a miscarriage. And I haven't told anyone, not even Christopher, since then."

She forced herself to look at Luke again. Just like earlier, there was no hint of judgment on his face. Maybe it was from having a sister who had also gotten pregnant as a teenager or maybe it was just the kind of person Luke was. Whatever the case was, Lorelai felt much more at ease than she had before.

"It's probably a good thing, anyway," Lorelai said, forcing a laugh. "Being a single mother-especially when you're only a kid yourself-would have to be difficult. I should at least cut your sister some slack for that. Being the sole provider of a kid at such a young age, without anyone to turn to…well, I don't know how I could have ever done that. It was probably better for the kid that way."

"I wouldn't say that," Luke said. When she looked at him, startled that he had spoken, he cleared his throat. "Uh, as far as I know, not as I have any personal experience, but just from having watched my parents…well, in order to be a parent, you have to be pretty strong and stubborn. You definitely seem to fit the bill."

She shook her head. "You don't even know me."

"I might not know you well, but I know that much about you. I mean…getting through a hard childhood and making me open the way I do? It's probably obvious, but I, uh, don't talk very much. Someone would have to be stubborn to get me to do that."

Lorelai smiled through her tears. It had been a long time since a guy had made her smile.

His arms were still wrapped around her, and she found herself marveling at how well his arms supported the curve of her waist. Though the gesture had not been intended as a turn-on, Lorelai felt herself shivering at his touch.

The words came out before she could stop them. "Kiss me."

Luke let go of her, gaping. "W-what?"

Her heart was ramming. Normally, Lorelai did not get nervous when it came to guys, especially after three bottles of beer and the drinks at her parents' party. But this time was different. Though she was still learning exactly what made him different, she had already grasped that Luke was not like other guys.

She swallowed, fighting to control the flush that came over her face. "I mean…it's your turn next, cause I explained about my miscarriage, and that was as good as any truth. And we haven't done any dares yet, only truths...unless you count me daring you to bring up that slice of pie, which was a pretty boring dare, in my opinion. Anyway, I'm daring you to kiss me."

He looked away, his expression unreadable. "You don't want me to do that."

She suddenly felt defensive. "Why not?"

"Because…because…" He shook his head, his Adam's apple bobbing. "My girlfriend just dumped me because she was pregnant. And you just told me about your miscarriage at sixteen. I don't want to take advantage of you."

Lorelai smiled, touched that Luke was looking out for her well being. It was hard to believe that she had been so worried about him taking advantage of her before, because she could now see that unlike most guys, Luke was a gentleman.

She placed her face right in front of Luke's. "That's sweet. But I'm not someone you're going to take advantage of, Luke. Despite the whole flannel thing, you're actually pretty sexy, and believe me, that's not a term I use lightly. I _want _you to kiss me." Suddenly, she found it necessary to add, "I'm not my mother, Luke. She would be horrified, standing here with a diner owner, but I'm not judgmental like her. I'm _not_. Your background doesn't make any difference to me."

His light blue eyes scrutinized her face, as if asking for confirmation. He must have found it, because he leaned in so closely that she could feel the warmth of his breath. Butterflies began to squirm in her stomach, but she felt excited, not nervous.

Always before, Lorelai had mocked romance writers' description of the deep connection the two main characters felt upon kissing for the first time. She loved romance in both books and films, but she also prided herself on being a realistic person. From firsthand experience, she had known firsthand that first kisses were not really like that.

This kiss, however, was different. Luke's lips were soft and warm and much gentler than she had expected. Before his tongue entered her mouth, he hesitated, as if asking for permission, and even when she granted it, he took his time before making the kiss more sensual. He had repositioned his arms and was now holding her like a breakable porcelain doll. Nobody had ever been so gentle with her before.

But most perplexing of all was the fact that, although neither really knew each other, the two had managed to merge on a physical level. He seemed to already know what she liked far better than other men who had kissed her for much longer.

When the kiss ended, Lorelai found her heart was racing. Suddenly, she wanted nothing more than too rip off Luke's clothes and to connect with him on an emotional and physical level both. There had been _chemistry _in that kiss. Perhaps it had not been as exaggerated as the romance novels, but she had felt a zing, all the same. In their kiss were the same feelings and tenderness that had been lacking in the kiss after her first time with Christopher.

Luke, on the other hand, was breathing heavily and had turned pale. She frowned, wondering if there had only been chemistry on her part, but before she had a chance to say anything, Luke stood up. He did not look at her.

"Well, uh, I guess it's probably time I head out. I have early deliveries tomorrow, and…anyway, you need to sleep. There's a lock on the door, if you want to keep me out. Just make sure that if I'm already working when you get up tomorrow, then you go through the backdoor…Stars Hollow is known for its gossip, and I don't want people thinking something happened that didn't."

"Luke," she whispered, as Luke continued to avoid looking at her. He did not respond. Instead, he wrapped a bundle of clothes, toothbrush, toothpaste, a pillow, and sleeping bag into his arms and walked towards the door.

"Goodnight," he said, before disappearing.

For a good few minutes, Lorelai sat there, taking in what had happened. Though she wanted nothing more than to follow Luke downstairs and kiss him senseless, she knew that would not be wise. Luke had had a good point about not wanting to take advantage of her. The last thing she wanted to do was take advantage of _him_, especially if there was only attraction on her part.

So instead she threw out the beer bottles and climbed into bed. The smell of Luke on his pillow lulled her to sleep.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Ha! I didn't say their night was completely chaste, did I? I'm sure you all want to kill me for the way I ended this, but hey, it's Luke and Lorelai. I never said things were going to be easy!_

_One of the fun things about writing this story was that in many ways, I got to reverse Luke and Lorelai's roles a little. Because of his past failed relationships, Luke faces the prospect of a new relationship in the same way Lorelai does on the show: with fear, anxiety, and a strong desire to run away. I'm sure we would have gotten to see this if Gilmore Girls had portrayed Luke when he and Lorelai first met, even in a non-AU world, but it's been fun to explore with this fic. Rest assured, though (or rest less assured, since if I'm sure you're all dying for them to make out already!*), that because she is still Lorelai, Lorelai will also be facing the anxiety from this deep connection...though I think as we can see from the fact that she instigated the kiss so early on, things are already a little different ;) _

_*One of my favorite Lauren Graham quotes, from the beginning of Season Four (paraphrased, since I don't remember the exact wording): "These people [Luke and Lorelai, duh!] are so dysfunctional! Why don't they just make out already?"  
><em>


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